40 Days of Conscious Living- Day 2

DAY 2

After a complete fail last night at bed time... lost my cool and felt like I have NO IDEA what to do about a child who gets out of bed incessantly! Super grumpy this morning and even when Rob came home, but after some talking and tears (me not Rob, in case you were wondering :-P) I felt calmer and motivated to do better and be happier by the time he got home. Thankfully it happened sooner than later. I was glad that Addy and Megan decided to stop crying at the same time right as Rob was getting home for lunch. Then they were decent for a bit after that. After some more nursing and putting Megan in my room where it was quiet she decided to sleep for a LONG time. Like hours! She does tend to do that after being fairly needy, she crashes :-) Love that girl already and not just because she sleeps for long stretches sometimes. She's just awesome all together!

Instead of finishing laundry and dishes (ideal) I attacked our SCARY closet in the hallway that houses all of the girls' coloring/crafty type supplies, and a plethora of random things that get shoved in there. I filled up most of my 'paper' box for recycling (a diaper box) and two grocery bags of trash. Wa-hoo! While I was doing this, I let the girls color which isn't out of the ordinary, but I did say YES to them using some poster board and YES to paints. I am a NO mom, wanting to convert to being a YES mom. The reason? Usually the NO is because I don't want to deal with it. I'm tired of being a tired, grumpy, DONE mom. I love to see them smile when I say YES.

I read them stories on the couch earlier for kicks and at bed time and sang Bri a song. That's one of her favorite parts of bed time. Didn't keep her there for very long, but she was a lot calmer tonight and so was I, though I still won't feel successful until she goes to bed without a spanking. That doesn't happen all the time, but more often than I want. I hated being spanked and yet I have NO IDEA how to get her to listen. NO JUDGING please.

I actually made dinner, though I totally torched the burgers so I can never give Rob crap again for doing the same thing. Oops. My excuse was that I was nursing and didn't want to have to put her down to flip them several times, but I will ask for assistance in the future. I can taste the charcoal, I mean burger, if I think about it. Eeek!

Our Family Rules Chart is working fairly well. I got the idea from here. I'm still seeing how they work and may tweak it to meet our needs, but so far it's helping ME discipline more consistently because I often avoid it which creates monsters (like I was). I love my girls and I want them to grow up healthy and happy. I had a great childhood and my parents stopped at 2 kiddos which helped them to not be crazy like I feel lately. Love them!

Next goal is to get us on a schedule. I'm going to pay for my activities tonight which was a 2 hour class online which took more like 3 because kids weren't all asleep until 11:13pm. Tomorrow is going to suck for me, but my plan is to get the girls up by 8 or 8:30am at the absolute latest. I have to follow through now because it's in writing right? I didn't get them up on time because I was dreading my responsibilities and I hate that feeling. I don't think it's hormonal like PPD. I think it's just feeling completely overwhelmed with needs and the responsibility I haven't taken time to perfect. BABY STEPS right? Trying to look at the bright side.

One last thing. REALLY want to find a way to make some money at home. I have one potential opportunity I'm waiting to hear on. That is my only option at this point if I'm going to keep my sanity. Working out of the home would be way too stressful just yet with a newborn. If you know of anything holler! Not sales though. Heck no.

Okay one more last thing. The class I took is from a free Hypnosis course. Then if you like it after getting a taste of it, you can go on to finish the entire thing a become a Hypnotherapist. I learned about it from a gal I've chatted with who went to this school. REALLY wish I could continue on after I finish this in the next 4 weeks. This is one of the few things that would normally be affordable that I've looked into. I learned more in these 2 hours than I have at all about hypnosis and it makes sooooooo much sense. I understand more about myself and how others behave. Can't wait to try out the homework on my girls and Rob :-> Anyone else? At least I know it's there and I'll have a better idea of my interest in it after finishing the course and picking this gal's brain about how she likes her work. If it's meant to be it will work out when the time is right :-)