Boo yeah!

Written Friday night late, so pardon the date when published.

Today is a beautiful day TWELVE of meditation. I told Rob that it was day eleven yesterday and he said to tell him when it's day twenty. I think he will fall off his chair if I make it to forty because his biggest frustration is that I don't do anything that he would like me to do consistently. There's usually a 24-72 hour time limit.

Okay, brief update on the food situation. I did okay until yesterday when I had two cookies and today when I had pizza (crust = white flour which converts to sugar ASAP + yeast) and some sweets from our awesome 'gingerbread' houses (made with graham crackers). It was super fun. The girls had a BLAST! By 9 or 10pm I was having LOTS of pain. It comes and goes, but man alive it is so annoying. I am not a pill popper... unless it comes to this. I did take only 2 motrin and that seemed to help. So what this tells me is that I caved waay too soon and it feels sad to not have sugar when it's around. Silly perhaps, but that is how I feel! This is going to be a LONG journey.

I have thought that if this doesn't go away in the next couple/few weeks, maybe I should wean Megan. The only problems with that are that breastmilk is WAAAAAAAY better than formula and I'll feel like I failed. If I do everything in my power to be comfortable then we can probably nurse quite happily (instead of me bracing myself for latch-on and hoping she doesn't wiggle all over like a normal health six-month old does). It's been a lot better this week until tonight so that tells me that the medicine, a homeopathic, and my strides at less yeast-loving food is helping. That's the good news. If I do everything I can and it still doesn't work then I won't feel like I gave up too early. So, let's see what happens.

Windows Opening

I've had some neat experiences with meditating lately. I'm too tired to write all of the details. This is the 2nd night in a row where Mommy's dozing and dying to climb into bed, but I still have the two wee ones awake. I do feel like my health issue here is 'compelling me to be humble.' That's not as great as choosing to be humble on my own, but it's better than not at all! That just so happened to get awful enough to do something different, while I'm learning mediation. This kind of meditation is very different and totally strange to someone who's not looking at what the meaning or purpose behind it is. Some of it involved music. Oh, how that makes me happy! I think it's all meant to be.

Oh, and I just have to note something that I also think is NOT a coinscidence. Felice was talking about a 'stony heart' and what that means. The Savior can take that away for us. I also think of having a broken heart (and a contrite spirit). Kinda the same idea. Well, when I was raiding my parents' books I found a book called "The Peacegiver" thinking it would talk about the Savior right off. Well the first part of the book said the exact same thing about a stony heart. Ding ding ding! I need to read this book. And to my surprise it talks about a couple who've been married for 12 years (we're going on 10) and their marriage is in BAD shape. I've only read a few pages, but I'm intrigued and want to learn from whatever happens. I need to see if it's a true story too. Prevention is key and this girl needs a warm, squishy heart. It will bless everyone around me, especially my beautiful family. On a side note this makes me think of what a wise man once told me (my dad... recently and with conviction), "Don't underestimate the power of your influence on your family." Woah. It's totally true. If I turn my weaknesses into strengths, watch out world! PS I'm going to try and not complain so much and also write random happy thoughts even if I'm grumpy about something because the more I say it, think it, write it, the more true it will feel. See, this is me trying to 'reframe.' I really don't like wondering if people are annoyed with my whining inadvertantly. I want to be sushine like my friend Anne! Okay, focus!

I have been a lot better about avoiding treats and bread for the most part and I'm trying to be a more calm and attentive Mama and then guess what windows OPEN? I checked my e-mail with some great news. Guess who's (ironically) taking a class on Raw Chocolate Desserts?! --> Me <-- a="a" absolutely="absolutely" actually="actually" ago="ago" aren="aren" because="because" by="by" class="class" dessert="dessert" desserts="desserts" divine="divine" for="for" future.="future." how="how" href="http://www.jjvitalityfood.com/" i="i" invited="invited" is="is" it="it" learn="learn" long="long" make="make" nbsp="nbsp" needs...="needs..." not="not" perfect="perfect" processed="processed" s="s" shannon="shannon" sugar.="sugar." t="t" target="_blank" taught="taught" that="that" the="the" think="think" to="to" too="too" want="want" was="was" what="what" with="with">Jaylene Johnson
, but it was one of those evenings where Mom just needed to be here at home :-) Someday I hope to take her classes as well.
And the other message? To call my friend's boss because she does have an opening to do data entry from home. YESSS! I've waited a couple of months for when she had a need. I was so giddy it was an awesome day. So super cheesy, but I could feel a skip in my step and a ray of hope and joy again. I've been so GRUMPY lately it's unreal. Rob sounded happy. I feel like I have freedom to throw myself back into the art of homemaking. Before Rob asked me to work a little while ago, I was getting ready to jump in feet first to create delicious nutrious meals daily and keep our home picked up. It's all in my head, I know, but now I feel at peace.

I did speak with Sara, my friend's boss. She started out working for someone else a couple years ago and long story short, she is her own boss and then needed help and now has 10 people working for her. I think everyone is an independant contractor. I need to look over the documents she sent, but from what I know I would be compiling data for broker opinions? And I did see an MLS listing in the docs so we shall see. On Monday we'll go over everything and then I'll get my first thing to do and go from there. She gives you one a day for a while and then hopes for 3-5 to be done each day. When I'm proficient, by about 60 days (I'm hoping way sooner) she'll train me on how to do computations and other things. When I can do everything from start to finish 'there's money to be made' she said. And I feel totally fine about this because my friend works for her already so I know this is legit! You never know what is real and what isn't when looking online for work at home. I feel so extremely blessed and I pray that this will work out long term and easy some of our financial burdens.

Oh, and then the very next day I got a message from a friend's sister asking if I'd be interested in cooking a few meals during the week for their family, as her son has dairy/wheat/gluten sensativities. She works full time and is very busy. We'll meet up after the new year and talk about it. I desperately need to get organized and more consistent on my responsibilities first.

So life is looking up. I just need to make our home look like life is great, not NUTS :-P. Now for some rest. No school. Yea! Christmas tree hunting. Yea! Sweetest dreams. (I remember mine more now and they're more real since I started meditating and that's normal. Cool.)